Women: Empower Your Vaginas

Where on Earth do women learn to be ashamed of their bodies? I racked my brain trying to pinpoint when and why I became ashamed of the fact that I can't orgasm purely from penetration, but I couldn't come up with a specific source. I remember watching TV shows like Sex in the City where Samantha could basically orgasm on command, and wondering why I wasn't having mind blowing sexperiences. And followed directly behind it was embarrassment and shame. Part of what thy don't teach you in health class is that it's natural to have to explore your body and what makes it feel good. I spent 7 years thinking that my vagina was abnormal when in reality, most women can't cum simply with vaginal penetration.

The day that I bought a vibrator was the first day that ever I experienced the orgasm, which unfortunately was several years after I started having sex. And even then I didn't feel super comfortable bringing it into the bedroom. So I did what any bored housewife would do...I faked it. In the last two years of having sex with someone other than myself, I only had an actual orgasm twice. TWICE! And nobody ever second guessed me because I'm a phenomenal actress in the bedroom. Why had I pushed my own needs aside for the needs of my partner? 

what does love look like?

When we talk about love, are we talking about the kind we see in movies that is over-exaggerated and overrated? The kind of love where women expect men to spontaneously purchase plane tickets and fly across the country to see her because the thought of being without each other another minute is too much to bear? My question is, how does anyone know they are in love? I even Googled the definition of love (an intense feeling of deep affection) to help me wrap my head around it.

"I love you."
"I feel intensely affectionate for you too."

Socially, how long should a couple wait before it's acceptable to express these intense affections they are feeling? Two weeks? A month? And more importantly, if too much time has passed and you realize you still don't love them, when is it expected that the relationship should come to an end?

I asked my best friend how she knew she loved her boyfriend. I think this question baffled her.

I also think that people often confuse love for infatuation. And they convey to their partner that they love them based on social pressure without having a full understanding of how they feel and then it gets messy. Now, a husband and wife of 50 years love each other (probably). But what's with people falling out of love? How do you have an entire life with someone and then wake up one morning and realized you made the wrong choice, oops?

Love is a serious thing. Love prevents people from taking their dream jobs. Love enforces the idea that you should accept your partner's flaws and love them for who they are.

But I think they also call that settling.